One Big House
by DevilsLittleSister
Summary: Things have been strange for Neji lately. Sasuke isn’t…right, Sakura is “emo”, things have been falling out of the sky, and the normal girl on crack isn’t…on crack?
1. Chapter 1

Oh I'm so happy, so I decided to write a crack story! I still have to work on my other story, and I almost have the chapter done, so don't kill me… unless you were to do it in a gory, weird, evil way…then maybe.

**Summary:** Things have been strange for Neji lately. Sasuke isn't…right, Sakura is "emo", things have been falling out of the sky, and the normal girl on crack isn't…on crack? When something threatens the village, who will be there to save it?

**One Big House  
DevilsLittleSister  
Chapter One**

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"ALRIGHT! The spirit of youth shines on you all!" Shouted Gai to his students.

"YOSH GAI-SENSEI! WE CAUGHT ONE!" Lee jumped around with excitement, holding a jar that contained something.

Tenten, still struggling to catch whatever they were supposed to be catching, just sighed. "Lee, calm down or you'll kill the poor thing."

"Tenten!" Lee ran over to his teammate…still shaking the jar. "Do you even know what this is?"

"An ant?"

Lee stepped back in shock. "Tenten! It may be just an ant to you! But to me, it is a sign of life…of youth!" Lee looked into Tenten's jar and snickered. "And you still haven't caught one…"

"Tenten, I am somewhat disappointed…" Neji said, emerging from the darkness. (oO) "We've been out here an hour, and you still haven't caught a single ant…" Neji held up his jar, revealing at least 47 ants all bunched together."

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT NEJI!" danced Gai.

Tenten gave a long sigh. "Honestly, when Tsunade-sama said we would be hunting ants, I thought she meant psychopathic aunts on the loose."

"Oh is that why you agreed to come?"

"YES!" Tenten shot her eyes around her perimeter. "I _hate _bugs. They're so…crawly. With big beady eyes that look up right at you, and their tiny heads, you never know what their thinking." Tenten gave a shudder. "They could be plotting to bomb the Earth at this moment!"

Neji rolled his eyes and began to collect more ants, until something caught his eye. It was shiny and round, almost like a gem. As he picked it up, he realized it was a necklace, with a big ruby stone hanging from the chain. It looked real, and it baffled him on how someone would just leave it here.

"Hey, Lee." Called Neji. He walked over to Lee holding the necklace up.

"What is it Ne- OH MY GOD IS THAT FOR ME?" Lee pounced on Neji and took hold of the necklace. "Why its so beautiful! Thank you!" Lee hugged Neji as waves came up from the background…with a dark aura around Neji.

Tenten who witnessed the whole thing was in a state of shock. Why couldn't Neji give the necklace to her? She was a girl! She would enjoy that kind of stuff…or at least pretend to. She glare at Neji, thinking that if you stare at someone, they could feel your eyes on them. He didn't turn around, however, the dark aura began to grow.

Tenten started to walk back to her apartment. Maybe she would go see Sakura. Yeah, Sakura always knows how it feels to be rejected. Even though Neji didn't reject her, it just kind felt that way. She hardly even thought of Neji like that, but now she is jealous of Lee. LEE! Something just wasn't right.

"I thought Gaara had the hots for Lee…not Neji." She said just a little to loudly, for she soon felt her feet stick to the ground. She looked down and saw sand all around her ankle.

"What did you just say?" came a dark voice from behind her.

Tenten tried to turn around, but she couldn't. "Um…I said…I was joking?"

She heard the sand move around her, and she opened her mouth for a scream.

**Oo**

Neji, whose dark aura was within a 50 feet radius, shot up from the scream.

"That sounded like Tenten."

"Who?" asked Lee, who was fondling his new necklace?

**Oo**

Neji ran to where he heard the scream coming from. Not to long after he started, he stopped. He saw Tenten walking up the street, towards him. Her right eye seems to be twitching.

"Why did you scream?" He said in a blunt voice.

Tenten, whose eye was still twitching, didn't answer. She kept walking until she came closer to Neji. He saw that she had sand all over her body.

"What happened?" He asked again, still blunt, but with a hint of concern.

"I was…" she started, but stopped.

"What?"

"I was…violated by _sand_." She said, now twitching a little more violently.

The first thought that came to his mind was that she tripped and fell. He thought it over, and realized she said "violated". The next thing that came into his mind was _Gaara._

**Oo**

"Sasuke-kun!" shouted Sakura. She had been walking to the coffee shop, but she saw Sasuke and decided she would give him a little visit. "Sasuke-kun wait up!"

Sasuke turned around and saw Sakura running up to him. He rolled his eyes at the sight. He didn't _hate_ Sakura. He just found her…quite annoying.

Sakura ran up to him, panting. "Sasuke-kun do yo-…"

"No."

"But I didn't even ask…"

"…No."

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

"Oh…hey Naruto."

"…Sasuke-teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Sakura-chaaaan."

"Sakura."

"SPONGEBOB!"

All three heads shot up, looking for the owner of the annoying voice, which was apparently not there. They looked around for a couple of seconds, until they made sure no one was there.

"…Sasuke-teme."

"STOP!"

* * *

That was kind of weird. I doubt this is even funny. I just need to get it out of my system, hehe. Don't worry, the story will develop a plot…or so I say. Reviews are deeply appreciated, as we all know. Be nice. Ja ne! 

**Chapter 2 Preview:**

"Uchiha, where are you talking me?" demanded Neji, as he looked at the hand holding his wrist, pulling him forcefully towards an unknown destination.

"Aww come on Neji-kun! I want to karaoke!" complained a certain _Uchiha. _(Hmm… there are only 2 to pick from.)

"WHAT?"


	2. Chapter 2

Ahh, 3 review! I mean that's not really a lot, but its better then getting no reviews at all right? I enjoyed writing the first chapter, so I think I will continue with more!

**SabakuNoTemari737:** Yes, random-ness is what I live on. So basically, my whole life is a joke! And I mean that in more ways then 1.

**DarkWarriorChick:** Yes, please do slice my head off. I could be like…a female version of sleepy hallow, and go around biting people with insane teeth oO. Anyway, glad you liked it, I will continue to try to make you giggle of you're seat and give you a concussion eventually.

**Xoayamexo:** Your name confuses me oO Anyway, glad you liked it, and thank you for thinking it hilarious, cause in my opinion, you're kind of sort of weird.

See? Only three, but I love them all. OO Not it that way. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters!

**One Big House  
DevilsLittleSister  
Chapter 2

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**

Tenten walked silently to her house. She wanted to stay away from Neji, who ACCIDENTLY, gave the beautiful necklace to Lee instead of her. She was the girl! She deserved to be loved and given nice things. Not Lee! Even though he thought he was a girl, there are many things that go against him.

She gave out a long sigh. Many things have been strange since the chunin exams when the met the Sand Squad. Temari was okay. After she rudely threw her unconscious body off her fan, they finally got to know each other a little bit more, and she was actually a nice person. Her brothers were weird however.

Tenten shuddered. She did not want to think of a certain brother of hers. She was now more afraid of him then she ever was. All because of that desperate attempt to prove he wasn't gay. She twitched that the memory.

_**/Flashback/**_

_Tenten watched in horror as sand covered her like a ball. It had already surrounded her feet to prevent her from running away. She opened her mouth to scream, but sand had covered that to._

_She felt it go in between her toes, which we all know is a terrible feeling, and tried helplessly to free herself. She stopped however, when she felt sand move up her left leg._

_Gaara came in closer and stopped. Almost 2 inches away, Tenten could feel his breath on her. If this situation weren't what it was, she would have considered it to be romantic. The sand holding her mouth slid down and _accidentally_ went down to her shirt. His mouth moved closer to her. Just as his lips were about to meet hers, sand shot in the way. It fell back down as he backed his head up, but went back up again as he moved closer._

_'Stupid Sand Guard.' He thought to himself as he jumped back, a little embarrassed._

_Tenten just stood there, as the sand slid from her clothes, baffled. What had just occurred? 5 minutes later, she figured it out. She was just sand-raped! She opened her mouth and let out a loud, high-pitched scream._

_**/End Flashback/**_

She wanted to take a long bath to get rid of the sand that still lingered. Maybe she should go to the bathhouse. She had heard that the all the kunoichi were gathering there. She was invited, but she wasn't one to bathe in front of other people. Now, however, it seemed like the best thing in the world.

**Oo**

Sakura slid in the bath. She looked around her, taking in everyone who was with her. Ino, Hinata, and Temari. Where was Tenten? She was sure she invited her.

As if reading her thoughts, Temari spoke up.

"Where's Tenten?"

"T-there she is," muttered Hinata.

Everyone looked to where said girl was standing. She looked around, as if looking for someone. She noticed Ino waving at her and ran over.

"Hey guys! Sorry I was late. I got… sidetracked."

"Its okay! Look! Its Ami-kun!" exclaimed Ino.

A girl around their age stepped into the bath joining them. Her eyes were a deep red, with a little birthmark under the left one, that looking like a tattoo. Her hair was a little longer then Sakura's, same style only a little shaggier, and was a brown with a little of natural highlights.

"Ino-san, how many times do I have to tell you, its AJ…sama." She laughed a little to herself, obviously thinking she made a joke. She stopped however when she noticed the blank expressions looking her ways.

"Hitogoroshi, I don't get you. You always seem to be changing you're name. Just stick with one." Yawned Temari as she sank into the water.

AJ mimicked her with a snotty fashion, but did the same.

**Oo**

"ARG!" screamed Naruto as he plopped down on a couch in Shikamaru's house.

"Arg?" Neji raised an eyebrow at the Kyuubi vessel lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah, you know…ARG…I'm a pirate!"

"You're a dobe."

"What did you say teme?"

"You heard me!"

"You know what I want to do?"

"Gaara how did you get in my house?"

"I got it! Let's go ice skating!"

Outside, a voice chuckled a low, soft, slow chuckle. "What a bunch of idiots. They don't even sense my presence. They don't even believe in me to top that! But little do they know, they're going on my naughty list."

**Oo**

The next morning, things just got a little overboard.

Sakura claimed Sasuke was peeking on her while she was in the shower, and threatened to call the Hokage to have her kick his ass. Sasuke, on the other hand, claimed that Sakura was peeking on him while he was in the shower. No further information as been released to the public.

Tenten avoided Neji and Gaara all day. She was emotionally unstable after certain events took place.

Lee was bragging to everybody of his beautiful necklace that Neji _gave_ his as a gift, earning him a big bonk on the head. Temari claimed that he was unworthy of having a necklace of that value and beauty, and tried to steal it from him. Lee ran behind Neji for security. …But we all know he just wanted to grope him.

Everyone else was all fighting over what to do. Missions have been piling up, but everyone was too lazy to do that. They wanted to have FUN. Suddenly, Sasuke got an idea.

"Neji," he said with his hands behind his back. He looked down at the ground and kicked it, making him look like a little boy.

Neji was surprised he called him by his first name. Their rivalry has been the key thing to their relationship. All the competitions, the gay jokes, and the hard work would be going down the drain in any second.

"Can you come with me…please?" Sasuke made a puppy dog face and looked into Neji's eyes. Neji didn't find this cute one bit. The only time he ever gave into a puppy dog face was the time Tenten and him were alone and-ahem- never mind. But never after that.

But.

If he didn't say yes, then Sasuke would continue to annoy him until he did.

"Fine."

Sasuke grabbed his hand and pulled him. "Thanks Neji-_kun_."

Neji suddenly regretted agreeing to come. The suffix "kun" just didn't sound right at the end of his name. It sounded…vial.

**Oo**

"Uchiha, where are you taking me?" demanded Neji, as he looked at the hand that hand holding his wrist, pulling him forcefully towards an unknown destination.

"Aww come on Neji-kun! I want to karaoke!" complained a certain Uchiha.

"WHAT?" Neji yelled. He didn't want to karaoke! He didn't even know what it was! Never in his life has he had any fun. Nope. None whatsoever. All that hard work was about to going to go bye bye! Along with his dignity!

"Yeah!" Sasuke giggled. Ami-kun gave me free passes and said that you LOVE karaoke! So I thought I would take you!"

Neji gritted his teeth. Her. "God, I hate her. …I should kill her."

"What did you say Neji-kun?" asked Sasuke innocently.

**Oo**

"OH MY GOD!" Sakura screamed from the kitchen.

All of the people in her house at that moment ran into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?"

"What's the matter?"

"Did something happen?"

"Did you die?"

Sakura pointed a trembling finger to a note on the kitchen table. On it read:

Dear Konoha Shinobi, 

I am making a list, and checking it twice. I know what you all have been doing when you're alone. I know when you are sleeping, and I know when you are awake. There is no way you can hide from me. I just want to warn you that you all have been very naughty. You better sleep with one eye open.

"Sakura…you're afraid of this?" asked Ino blankly.

"T-turn it over!" Sakura trembled.

Everyone stared with wide eyes as Kiba bravely turned the note over note. On the other side was a picture of a…

"OH MY GOD A BANANA!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

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oO That was really stupid. Ah well, whatever. I hope you enjoyed it anyway! I'm thinking of writing an ItachixSakura fic…but I don't know yet. I don't know where that came from… Click that little button at the bottom of this page please and **REVIEW!**

**Chapter 3 Preview**

No one was sure who was in the small little space they were in. All they knew was, that there was alot. The room was probably 3 feet wide, and 5 feet tall. What were they ever doing in there anyway?

Tenten tried to look around, but all was black. You couldn't even see your own hand in front of your face, no matter how hard you tried. Then, she felt it. Sand. _Sand._ She wanted to scream.


End file.
